Herb
Neufeld and the Case of the Bare Teddy
by
Ulla Thomsen
FX: The sound of fabric tearing: heavy breathing:
Fade to:
June: Well,
what would expect me to do Herr Neufeld..after
all I'm only a women
Herb: But
that's absolutely awful Fraulein.. eh,Jones
June: June
Jones.. Herr Neufeld
Herb: June
like the month... how sunny.. thank you Fraulein
Jones
June: Don't
thank me, Herr Neufeld.. thank the Englpoise
and Hurm Stores Incorporated for importing
all the teddies and..
Herb: But
it's just awful.. I can see the horror of it..
someone just tearing your teddies asunder and
just.. erghh.. just well..
June: Yes, it
defies the imagination, doesn't it, Herr
Neufeld.. I was horrified..
Smith: And as
the teddy buyer Herr Neufeld..
Herb: Eh
June: This is
Mr Smith, the buyer, Herr Neufeld
Smith: How do
you do
Herb: Occasionally
Mr Smith, Occasionally
Smith: Why?
June: As I
was saying Herr Neufeld..
Smith: Such an
awful crime..
Herb: some
crazed maniac.. bent on destruction...[shivers]
or worse..
June: Worse,
Herr Neufeld... worse?
Herb: Yes..
hardly a worse possibility can befall a Teddy
June: Bear
Herb: That
too.. the final indignity..
Smith: Yes,
bare ...
June: ....
daylight robbery
Herb: Only,
it was done in the middle of the night, at
3 am
Smith: That's
right Herr Neufeld
Herb: Now
tell me exactly what happened, Mr Smith !
Smith: Well,
it's so far only conjecture, but all we really
know is that .....
June: No, No,
tell him the whole story Smithy
Smith: Well, it
was like this Herr Neufeld...Englpoise
and Hurm Incorporated, the well known womens
underwear shops chain, invited us over from
England in a kind of International Friendship deal.. you know like...
June: .....
like twinning towns... Dagenham and Dusseldorf
for example... or.. or...Munchen and....Berwick
on Thames..
Herb: I get
you
Smith: Anyway,
so our German counterparts are in England
selling ladies.. er things and June and I
here are selling ladies.. er .. things.. here
Herb: So far,
so good
June: Yes
Smith: Yes
Herb: Good
the... what happened last night...
June: Well,
we arrived with a load of Teddy Bears
in filmy silk things.. you know.. a sort of
sales promotion idea
Herb: Ahem..
yes
Smith: Jolly
good, they looked
June: On the
Teddy Bears.. wouldn't be caught dead wearing
that stuff myself... !
Herb: Oh, of
course not ...
Smith: Where
does that bring us to
Herb: You
arrived with the stuff ...
June: Ah yes
Smith: And we
dressed the Teddy Bears up in things..
June: Mostly
those teddy things women wear
Herb: An
interesting thought
Smith: Certainly
is
June: Anyway,
then we put the display together...that
was a few days ago now..
Smith: And
after a few days.. this happens!
Herb: Oh,
dear!
June: Awful!
Herb: So your
display was ruined...!
Smith: Completely..
and June had been so artistic with it too!
June: